Hi, I’m Naomi.
About me
I’m Naomi Segal, a BACP and COSRT-registered relationship therapist writing about what happens after the honeymoon ends.
I’m the founder of two therapy practices - The Couple Consultancy and The Polyam Practice - where I work with people navigating domestic disillusionment: that slow creep of disappointment and resentment when reality doesn’t match expectations.
What I write about
Most people don’t realise they’re experiencing disillusionment when it begins. They notice small irritations. Communication feels harder. Their partner seems different- or perhaps they’re finally seeing them clearly for the first time.
What showed up was often a lot of disappointment and resentment.
This is what I call domestic disillusionment: the universal stage every long-term relationship reaches when the honeymoon ends and fantasy meets reality.
I started this newsletter because this stage is rarely discussed openly. People believe disappointment means they’ve chosen wrong or their relationship has failed. But disillusionment isn’t failure - it’s a necessary transition. Understanding it changes everything.
My approach
Relationship disappointment and the resentment it creates are often a slow, insidious creep. You didn’t get there quickly, and you may not get out of it quickly either. Meaningful change takes time.
What I offer here is a route to understanding what’s really happening. Moving from surface symptoms (like communication problems) to root causes (like unmet expectations, unconscious patterns, family-of-origin dynamics). Stepping back from “they’re the problem” to understanding “we’re stuck in a problem together.”
Who this is for
This newsletter is for anyone experiencing domestic disillusionment - that moment when you realise your partner or relationship isn’t what you expected.
For people in the post-honeymoon phase, navigating disappointment and resentment. For anyone worn out by shallow relationship advice who wants something with more substance.
If you’re curious about what’s really going wrong, not just quick fixes, I hope you’ll find this useful.
Background
I’m a BACP and COSRT-registered psychodynamic and psychosexual relationship therapist. I have particular expertise in non-monogamous relationships and interracial relationships, areas where traditional therapy often falls short. You’ll find content on these woven throughout this newsletter, not separated, because all relationships deserve the same depth of exploration.
This newsletter is where I think out loud, share ideas, and explore the patterns I see in my work. Since therapy works best as a collaboration, I welcome your thoughts so we may both benefit.
What you will find here
My musings on domestic disillusionment, disappointment, resentment, and the deeper psychological patterns that shape intimate life. No quick fixes. No to-do lists. Depth, nuance, and food for thought.
Subscribe below to join me.
