Naomi: Thanks for this blog and post. I’m going through something similar and couldn’t put a name on it. DISILLUSIONMENT. Yeah. That’s it. I’m feeling disappointment in my marriage because things aren’t what they used to be. We are more roommates than anything else. Therapy / marriage counseling is helping but I can’t shake my feelings. It’s like the tortoise and the hare. Because of certain health issues, my wife has become the tortoise. We don’t do anywhere near what we did early on. I, in turn, am the hare…metaphorically, of course. I wanna go and, because of that, often do things we once did together by myself. Tough road and I’m not quite sure how to turn it around without losing me in the process. Anyway, I’ll be reading and learning.
Thank you for writing this so honestly. The tortoise and hare image says a lot about the pain of loving someone whose pace has changed, while still needing to feel alive yourself. The tension between loyalty to the relationship and loyalty to self is exactly the kind of territory I’m trying to explore in After The Honeymoon. I’m glad the word disillusionment helped give some shape to it.
Naomi: Thanks for this blog and post. I’m going through something similar and couldn’t put a name on it. DISILLUSIONMENT. Yeah. That’s it. I’m feeling disappointment in my marriage because things aren’t what they used to be. We are more roommates than anything else. Therapy / marriage counseling is helping but I can’t shake my feelings. It’s like the tortoise and the hare. Because of certain health issues, my wife has become the tortoise. We don’t do anywhere near what we did early on. I, in turn, am the hare…metaphorically, of course. I wanna go and, because of that, often do things we once did together by myself. Tough road and I’m not quite sure how to turn it around without losing me in the process. Anyway, I’ll be reading and learning.
Thank you for writing this so honestly. The tortoise and hare image says a lot about the pain of loving someone whose pace has changed, while still needing to feel alive yourself. The tension between loyalty to the relationship and loyalty to self is exactly the kind of territory I’m trying to explore in After The Honeymoon. I’m glad the word disillusionment helped give some shape to it.